portfolio & design blog of logo & identity designer, Graham Smith
This is a rather special self submitted list. Are you stupid? Are you a stupid failure? Are you a stupid and utter embarrasment to colleagues and friends? Are you in fact so stupid, that you have perfected the art of cloak and dagger, you are in fact a closet secret failure. On the outside apparently cool, calm and collected, with nothing but a string of good fortune behind them, but secretly hide a shame that’s just too awful to contemplate?
If so, then this list is for you. It’s for all creatives, designers and geeks that have failed abysmally at not succeeding in life or their chosen career and just being plain stupid. You have even failed at being stupid.
Me me me!
Add personal details to the comments at the end of this post, so all may mock and ridicule you for being so stupid. Also allowing prospective new employee’s or clients to carefully check if they are potentially hiring a stupid person.
Please give full information about your shame and embarrassment, and any references or links to examples that may prove useful to those laughing at you.
Post History
This was first posted nearly a year ago, under the guise of being a failure, opposed to being stupid. But frankly, they are both one of the same, so, I have decided to ‘rebrand’ this post.
After the release of my Don’t be Stupid Poster, I decided to milk that quote for all that it is worth. Shameful I know, but not stupid.
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Tagged: Blogging, creative, delicious, Design, Flickr, geek, list, stupid < Previous: Zag Font – Free Download – Ideal for Logo & Graphic Design
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Name: Graham Smith
I failed roughly 100 CrowdSpring logo projects and the shame will haunt me forever.
I am a total failure.
i am currently doing 2 shopping-cart websites, out of which one is pretty huge, and get payed $300.00 for it. They tricked me with the “it’s for your portfolio” line. :(
I should be shot for accepting that.
Name: Tom Sinclair
I’ve recently contracted some form of mouth aids and failed to eat properly in 10 days :( Im ashamed to even talk about it :(
I am a total failure
I have failed at providing shoddy, late work for clients!
I am a failure
I used to drive a Porsche Boxster and an Audi A6 and live in a three storey house in Twickenham! Earning over 100K sterling per year!
I now drive a 1969 VW Beetle and live in Egypt and tweet everyday ;)
FAIL? Nah I love it!
I used to be a woman.
I missed a deadline by 12 minutes and they changed my sex.
Down and out.
I couldn’t properly identify the right PMS color of a STOP sign.
My dog turned is nose up at me for offering him a treat today.
I am [Totally AND Utterly] a FAILURE.
Please save me.
I speak on skype with Graham Smith EVERYDAY ;(
I used to design and implement Disaster Recover Solutions for oil companies HQ data centre (whole country). Was flown to Dallas two months a year to audit the security on their SAP system which was their global core system.
Now.. I tweet..
I talk with Style Time on Skype, and I enjoy it… (sorry) ;(
I got a $200 ticket for speeding while trying not to be late at a business meeting with a potential client. The client turned out to be a work mate pulling a practical joke on me.
I kick small dogs on the street, and then i plan, design and code web applications while drunk… And I tweet
I am a Total Failure
I used to listen to Kid Rock whilst I worked.
Now I feel so ashamed and humiliated.
I am a failure.
I used to listen to Linkin Park.
I = complete and utter failure.
i used to work on a pc.
i’m worst than the fail-whale.
I still work on a PC ;(
I had to teach design on PCs!
Oh the shame….
@styletime: my sympathies.
While seeking employment at the corner print/copy shop; I couldn’t remember the dimensions of a standard US business card! Needless to say…
I am a Failure.
I used to work on a PC. I actually had an antivirus…! That’s a FAIL
I used to work for someone else, went home and worried about what needed to be done tomorrow as my mind never stopped.
Now I work for myself, things are the same and I still think about design all the time. Am I a Failure… No… because its now about my life…..
I also thought Rick Astley was black the first moment I heard him on the radio many many moons ago….. How wrong I was… I am a failure….
Rick Astley isn’t black? Oh crap… There you go… I am a failure for that also…
Miguel I and are failures…..
During design process for a logo comprised of too many characters; I was looking for a font. While scrolling thru over a 1000 font families, it occurred to me that in my entire design career, I’ve never organized/categorized my collection.
What a font management failure I am! Please help me.
Ouch… I’m afraid I can’t compare to most of these stories. I did have to throw out a Web design I spent 3 days on and start over from scratch, but that’s about it. Luckily, they liked the 2nd one.
I’ve designed a number of mission critical disaster recovery plans. Offsite automated backups, hardware redundacy in multiple locations, the works. Pretty much get hit with a disaster, and be up and running in 6 hours or less for multi million dollar businesses, with the biggest issue being people relocation.
So, some years later, I got hit with a 100 yr flood, and my system worked great at my own office :) but I was too busy to rebuild it.
Then a few months later, got hit with a 50 year flood, and it about wiped me out. Dumb dumb dumb….. I was an idiot, that wont happen again.
Not for 25 years, anyway…
Ron> I dont mean to offend you, well, actually I do. You are more than an idiot. You are a failure. That’s why you came here.
Admit it…
And that goes to all of you, you are (we) all FAILURES.
I allowed myself to run out of duct tape, and actually considered that masking tape could be an alternative.
ROB> That’s just shameful. Masking tape, AS WE ALL KNOW, just doesnt stick.
You are a looser and failure.
I failed trying to launch a Twitter urban adventure race business, twitterdash.com. Handed out 200 fliers. I failed…but hope to pick it up again with some help.
Failure I am with ideas
I tweet on average 7 times a day and i get cold sweats if i can’t check my email…
F A I L . . .
I tweet on average 7 times a day and i get cold sweats if i can’t check my email…
F A I L . . .
Not for 25 years, anyway…
i 4got to renew my host invoice so the day after all my sites were offline….my phone couldnt stop ringin from my clients…it took me 2 days to convince my host suport that was a mistake,,,then i could renew it…lol
i 4got to renew my host invoice so the day after all my sites were offline….my phone couldnt stop ringin from my clients…it took me 2 days to convince my host suport that was a mistake,,,then i could renew it…lol
A client asked me to do a website for his relatively new pudding business after telling me how hard and long hours he has to work. I felt sorry for him and quoted a rather to fare price for him. He bargained the price down even more and I agreed (fail). Then he had a few extra requests (fail) and gave me free puddings and 2 bottles of wine to make up for it. I binged on both and felt sorry for myself. The pinnacle of the iceberg was, when the job was done he asked me if I want to go out for drinks. The non-stupid un-fail part of this story is – I said no.
A client asked me to do a website for his relatively new pudding business after telling me how hard and long hours he has to work. I felt sorry for him and quoted a rather to fare price for him. He bargained the price down even more and I agreed (fail). Then he had a few extra requests (fail) and gave me free puddings and 2 bottles of wine to make up for it. I binged on both and felt sorry for myself. The pinnacle of the iceberg was, when the job was done he asked me if I want to go out for drinks. The non-stupid un-fail part of this story is – I said no.
I forget to take the clean laundry out of the washer before putting in the next load of dirty laundry. Doesn’t have much to do with design, but I thought I’d post this anyway ;)
I forget to take the clean laundry out of the washer before putting in the next load of dirty laundry. Doesn’t have much to do with design, but I thought I’d post this anyway ;)
I’m a stupid loser and an utter failure because of my raging addiction to gossiping on Twitter about other designers. I can’t WAIT to post about ALL of YOU!
Oh, and I daydream about flying all the way to the UK just to have coffee (excuse me, tea) with some of you (including you, Graham) just to hear your British accents and see those old men on stilts lighting lamps on dark, misty nights. I like rain.
I also harshly critique the design skills of small children with crayons.
I’m a stupid loser and an utter failure because of my raging addiction to gossiping on Twitter about other designers. I can’t WAIT to post about ALL of YOU!
Oh, and I daydream about flying all the way to the UK just to have coffee (excuse me, tea) with some of you (including you, Graham) just to hear your British accents and see those old men on stilts lighting lamps on dark, misty nights. I like rain.
I also harshly critique the design skills of small children with crayons.
I went to a Star Wars Convention dressed as Captain Kirk. The worst part is, someone had to tell my how stupid that was … I’m a complete embarrassment to the dork community and all of my peers.
LOL
I went to a Star Wars Convention dressed as Captain Kirk. The worst part is, someone had to tell my how stupid that was … I’m a complete embarrassment to the dork community and all of my peers.
LOL
I am a failure… period.
Web design… failed.
Art career… failed.
Writing career… failed.
Relationship… failed.
Family… failed.
Faith in humanity… failed.
Will to live… failed.
I want to die…
but I have even failed at suicide.
I am a failure… period.
Web design… failed.
Art career… failed.
Writing career… failed.
Relationship… failed.
Family… failed.
Faith in humanity… failed.
Will to live… failed.
I want to die…
but I have even failed at suicide.
I am a Web Designer and I don’t have website.Just for five years :( Failed
I am a Web Designer and I don’t have website.Just for five years :( Failed
I also work on a PC
I also work on a PC
I worked on my personal portfolio web site for 2 months. Close to almost being finished, it followed 3 months of heavy working on some projects that took my spare time away. When i came back to finish it, i found out that all was a wreck and i hate it. So my 2 months of work was thrown to garbage, and I am still having my “Under Construction page” and it passed almost a year since i bought my new domain.
In conclusion… total failure all the way.
I worked on my personal portfolio web site for 2 months. Close to almost being finished, it followed 3 months of heavy working on some projects that took my spare time away. When i came back to finish it, i found out that all was a wreck and i hate it. So my 2 months of work was thrown to garbage, and I am still having my “Under Construction page” and it passed almost a year since i bought my new domain.
In conclusion… total failure all the way.
I work on a PC. Fail.
I live in DC and I can’t meet a girl. Fail.
My boss follows my FB and Twitter. Fail.
I do web designs/identity campaigns on the side for less than half the going rate for the area, yet my clients pester me like they were paying top dollar. I’m also more than 2 months late on delivering to one client due to his constant changes. Fail.
I’ve been working on my personal website for 3 years, and it’s in the same condition as it has been for 1.5 years, and its still not finished, and of course now I hate the design and I want to redo it, but I don’t have time cause I have clients now, and I can’t show my clients my work because I don’t have time for the site. Fail
I work on a PC. Fail.
I live in DC and I can’t meet a girl. Fail.
My boss follows my FB and Twitter. Fail.
I do web designs/identity campaigns on the side for less than half the going rate for the area, yet my clients pester me like they were paying top dollar. I’m also more than 2 months late on delivering to one client due to his constant changes. Fail.
I’ve been working on my personal website for 3 years, and it’s in the same condition as it has been for 1.5 years, and its still not finished, and of course now I hate the design and I want to redo it, but I don’t have time cause I have clients now, and I can’t show my clients my work because I don’t have time for the site. Fail
I couldn’t come up with a “really creative logo” for a doctor’s office in 9 hours. He didn’t like any of the 7 designs I did manage to come up with and told me to “go smoke one and get loose”. I failed at the design and I don’t “smoke” so I failed at that too.
I couldn’t come up with a “really creative logo” for a doctor’s office in 9 hours. He didn’t like any of the 7 designs I did manage to come up with and told me to “go smoke one and get loose”. I failed at the design and I don’t “smoke” so I failed at that too.
I had to teach design on PCs!
Oh the shame….
I’m happy.Because I am not alone:)
I’m happy.Because I am not alone:)
Everytime when I build a new website, I swear to organize my css file in a pretty and well ordered way. But after 3 secs of programming and designing I lost all of my intentions. Although the html/css is valid at the end, the css file is a pure catastrophe: Oh I’d wish to become a neat webdesigner (failure!)
Everytime when I build a new website, I swear to organize my css file in a pretty and well ordered way. But after 3 secs of programming and designing I lost all of my intentions. Although the html/css is valid at the end, the css file is a pure catastrophe: Oh I’d wish to become a neat webdesigner (failure!)