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UWritten by Graham Smith: @imjustcreative—the original Logo Smith since '86. rSubscribe RSS
This is a rather special self submitted list. Are you stupid? Are you a stupid failure? Are you a stupid and utter embarrasment to colleagues and friends? Are you in fact so stupid, that you have perfected the art of cloak and dagger, you are in fact a closet secret failure.
On the outside apparently cool, calm and collected, with nothing but a string of good fortune behind them, but secretly hide a shame that’s just too awful to contemplate?
If so, then this list is for you. It’s for all creatives, designers and geeks that have failed abysmally at not succeeding in life or their chosen career and just being plain stupid. You have even failed at being stupid.
Me me me!
Add personal details to the comments at the end of this post, so all may mock and ridicule you for being so stupid. Also allowing prospective new employee’s or clients to carefully check if they are potentially hiring a stupid person.
Please give full information about your shame and embarrassment, and any references or links to examples that may prove useful to those laughing at you.
Post History
This was first posted nearly a year ago, under the guise of being a failure, opposed to being stupid. But frankly, they are both one of the same, so, I have decided to ‘rebrand’ this post.
After the release of my Don’t be Stupid Poster I decided to milk that quote for all that it is worth. Shameful I know, but not stupid.
c
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Everytime when I build a new website, I swear to organize my css file in a pretty and well ordered way. But after 3 secs of programming and designing I lost all of my intentions. Although the html/css is valid at the end, the css file is a pure catastrophe: Oh I'd wish to become a neat webdesigner (failure!)
Everytime when I build a new website, I swear to organize my css file in a pretty and well ordered way. But after 3 secs of programming and designing I lost all of my intentions. Although the html/css is valid at the end, the css file is a pure catastrophe: Oh I'd wish to become a neat webdesigner (failure!)
I'm happy.Because I am not alone:)
I'm happy.Because I am not alone:)
I had to teach design on PCs!
Oh the shame....
I couldn't come up with a "really creative logo" for a doctor's office in 9 hours. He didn't like any of the 7 designs I did manage to come up with and told me to "go smoke one and get loose". I failed at the design and I don't "smoke" so I failed at that too.
I couldn't come up with a "really creative logo" for a doctor's office in 9 hours. He didn't like any of the 7 designs I did manage to come up with and told me to "go smoke one and get loose". I failed at the design and I don't "smoke" so I failed at that too.
I work on a PC. Fail.
I live in DC and I can't meet a girl. Fail.
My boss follows my FB and Twitter. Fail.
I do web designs/identity campaigns on the side for less than half the going rate for the area, yet my clients pester me like they were paying top dollar. I'm also more than 2 months late on delivering to one client due to his constant changes. Fail.
I've been working on my personal website for 3 years, and it's in the same condition as it has been for 1.5 years, and its still not finished, and of course now I hate the design and I want to redo it, but I don't have time cause I have clients now, and I can't show my clients my work because I don't have time for the site. Fail
I work on a PC. Fail.
I live in DC and I can't meet a girl. Fail.
My boss follows my FB and Twitter. Fail.
I do web designs/identity campaigns on the side for less than half the going rate for the area, yet my clients pester me like they were paying top dollar. I'm also more than 2 months late on delivering to one client due to his constant changes. Fail.
I've been working on my personal website for 3 years, and it's in the same condition as it has been for 1.5 years, and its still not finished, and of course now I hate the design and I want to redo it, but I don't have time cause I have clients now, and I can't show my clients my work because I don't have time for the site. Fail
I worked on my personal portfolio web site for 2 months. Close to almost being finished, it followed 3 months of heavy working on some projects that took my spare time away. When i came back to finish it, i found out that all was a wreck and i hate it. So my 2 months of work was thrown to garbage, and I am still having my "Under Construction page" and it passed almost a year since i bought my new domain.
In conclusion... total failure all the way.
I worked on my personal portfolio web site for 2 months. Close to almost being finished, it followed 3 months of heavy working on some projects that took my spare time away. When i came back to finish it, i found out that all was a wreck and i hate it. So my 2 months of work was thrown to garbage, and I am still having my "Under Construction page" and it passed almost a year since i bought my new domain.
In conclusion... total failure all the way.
I also work on a PC
I also work on a PC
I am a Web Designer and I don't have website.Just for five years :( Failed
I am a Web Designer and I don't have website.Just for five years :( Failed
I am a failure... period.
Web design... failed.
Art career... failed.
Writing career... failed.
Relationship... failed.
Family... failed.
Faith in humanity... failed.
Will to live... failed.
I want to die...
but I have even failed at suicide.
I am a failure... period.
Web design... failed.
Art career... failed.
Writing career... failed.
Relationship... failed.
Family... failed.
Faith in humanity... failed.
Will to live... failed.
I want to die...
but I have even failed at suicide.
I went to a Star Wars Convention dressed as Captain Kirk. The worst part is, someone had to tell my how stupid that was ... I'm a complete embarrassment to the dork community and all of my peers.
I went to a Star Wars Convention dressed as Captain Kirk. The worst part is, someone had to tell my how stupid that was ... I'm a complete embarrassment to the dork community and all of my peers.
I'm a stupid loser and an utter failure because of my raging addiction to gossiping on Twitter about other designers. I can't WAIT to post about ALL of YOU!
Oh, and I daydream about flying all the way to the UK just to have coffee (excuse me, tea) with some of you (including you, Graham) just to hear your British accents and see those old men on stilts lighting lamps on dark, misty nights. I like rain.
I also harshly critique the design skills of small children with crayons.
I'm a stupid loser and an utter failure because of my raging addiction to gossiping on Twitter about other designers. I can't WAIT to post about ALL of YOU!
Oh, and I daydream about flying all the way to the UK just to have coffee (excuse me, tea) with some of you (including you, Graham) just to hear your British accents and see those old men on stilts lighting lamps on dark, misty nights. I like rain.
I also harshly critique the design skills of small children with crayons.
I forget to take the clean laundry out of the washer before putting in the next load of dirty laundry. Doesn't have much to do with design, but I thought I'd post this anyway ;)
I forget to take the clean laundry out of the washer before putting in the next load of dirty laundry. Doesn't have much to do with design, but I thought I'd post this anyway ;)
A client asked me to do a website for his relatively new pudding business after telling me how hard and long hours he has to work. I felt sorry for him and quoted a rather to fare price for him. He bargained the price down even more and I agreed (fail). Then he had a few extra requests (fail) and gave me free puddings and 2 bottles of wine to make up for it. I binged on both and felt sorry for myself. The pinnacle of the iceberg was, when the job was done he asked me if I want to go out for drinks. The non-stupid un-fail part of this story is - I said no.
A client asked me to do a website for his relatively new pudding business after telling me how hard and long hours he has to work. I felt sorry for him and quoted a rather to fare price for him. He bargained the price down even more and I agreed (fail). Then he had a few extra requests (fail) and gave me free puddings and 2 bottles of wine to make up for it. I binged on both and felt sorry for myself. The pinnacle of the iceberg was, when the job was done he asked me if I want to go out for drinks. The non-stupid un-fail part of this story is - I said no.
i 4got to renew my host invoice so the day after all my sites were offline....my phone couldnt stop ringin from my clients...it took me 2 days to convince my host suport that was a mistake,,,then i could renew it...lol
i 4got to renew my host invoice so the day after all my sites were offline....my phone couldnt stop ringin from my clients...it took me 2 days to convince my host suport that was a mistake,,,then i could renew it...lol
Not for 25 years, anyway...
I tweet on average 7 times a day and i get cold sweats if i can't check my email...
F A I L . . .
I tweet on average 7 times a day and i get cold sweats if i can't check my email...
F A I L . . .
I failed trying to launch a Twitter urban adventure race business, twitterdash.com. Handed out 200 fliers. I failed...but hope to pick it up again with some help.
Failure I am with ideas
ROB> That's just shameful. Masking tape, AS WE ALL KNOW, just doesnt stick.
You are a looser and failure.
I allowed myself to run out of duct tape, and actually considered that masking tape could be an alternative.
Ron> I dont mean to offend you, well, actually I do. You are more than an idiot. You are a failure. That's why you came here.
Admit it...
And that goes to all of you, you are (we) all FAILURES.
I've designed a number of mission critical disaster recovery plans. Offsite automated backups, hardware redundacy in multiple locations, the works. Pretty much get hit with a disaster, and be up and running in 6 hours or less for multi million dollar businesses, with the biggest issue being people relocation.
So, some years later, I got hit with a 100 yr flood, and my system worked great at my own office :) but I was too busy to rebuild it.
Then a few months later, got hit with a 50 year flood, and it about wiped me out. Dumb dumb dumb..... I was an idiot, that wont happen again.
Not for 25 years, anyway...
Ouch... I'm afraid I can't compare to most of these stories. I did have to throw out a Web design I spent 3 days on and start over from scratch, but that's about it. Luckily, they liked the 2nd one.
During design process for a logo comprised of too many characters; I was looking for a font. While scrolling thru over a 1000 font families, it occurred to me that in my entire design career, I've never organized/categorized my collection.
What a font management failure I am! Please help me.
Miguel I and are failures.....
Rick Astley isn't black? Oh crap... There you go... I am a failure for that also...
I also thought Rick Astley was black the first moment I heard him on the radio many many moons ago..... How wrong I was... I am a failure....
I used to work for someone else, went home and worried about what needed to be done tomorrow as my mind never stopped.
Now I work for myself, things are the same and I still think about design all the time. Am I a Failure... No... because its now about my life.....
I used to work on a PC. I actually had an antivirus...! That's a FAIL
While seeking employment at the corner print/copy shop; I couldn't remember the dimensions of a standard US business card! Needless to say...
I am a Failure.
@styletime: my sympathies.
I still work on a PC ;(
I had to teach design on PCs!
Oh the shame....
i used to work on a pc.
i'm worst than the fail-whale.
Everytime when I build a new website, I swear to organize my css file in a pretty and well ordered way. But after 3 secs of programming and designing I lost all of my intentions. Although the html/css is valid at the end, the css file is a pure catastrophe: Oh I'd wish to become a neat webdesigner (failure!)
Everytime when I build a new website, I swear to organize my css file in a pretty and well ordered way. But after 3 secs of programming and designing I lost all of my intentions. Although the html/css is valid at the end, the css file is a pure catastrophe: Oh I'd wish to become a neat webdesigner (failure!)
I'm happy.Because I am not alone:)
I'm happy.Because I am not alone:)
I had to teach design on PCs! Oh the shame....
I couldn't come up with a "really creative logo" for a doctor's office in 9 hours. He didn't like any of the 7 designs I did manage to come up with and told me to "go smoke one and get loose". I failed at the design and I don't "smoke" so I failed at that too.
I couldn't come up with a "really creative logo" for a doctor's office in 9 hours. He didn't like any of the 7 designs I did manage to come up with and told me to "go smoke one and get loose". I failed at the design and I don't "smoke" so I failed at that too.
I work on a PC. Fail. I live in DC and I can't meet a girl. Fail. My boss follows my FB and Twitter. Fail. I do web designs/identity campaigns on the side for less than half the going rate for the area, yet my clients pester me like they were paying top dollar. I'm also more than 2 months late on delivering to one client due to his constant changes. Fail. I've been working on my personal website for 3 years, and it's in the same condition as it has been for 1.5 years, and its still not finished, and of course now I hate the design and I want to redo it, but I don't have time cause I have clients now, and I can't show my clients my work because I don't have time for the site. Fail
I work on a PC. Fail. I live in DC and I can't meet a girl. Fail. My boss follows my FB and Twitter. Fail. I do web designs/identity campaigns on the side for less than half the going rate for the area, yet my clients pester me like they were paying top dollar. I'm also more than 2 months late on delivering to one client due to his constant changes. Fail. I've been working on my personal website for 3 years, and it's in the same condition as it has been for 1.5 years, and its still not finished, and of course now I hate the design and I want to redo it, but I don't have time cause I have clients now, and I can't show my clients my work because I don't have time for the site. Fail
I worked on my personal portfolio web site for 2 months. Close to almost being finished, it followed 3 months of heavy working on some projects that took my spare time away. When i came back to finish it, i found out that all was a wreck and i hate it. So my 2 months of work was thrown to garbage, and I am still having my "Under Construction page" and it passed almost a year since i bought my new domain. In conclusion... total failure all the way.
I worked on my personal portfolio web site for 2 months. Close to almost being finished, it followed 3 months of heavy working on some projects that took my spare time away. When i came back to finish it, i found out that all was a wreck and i hate it. So my 2 months of work was thrown to garbage, and I am still having my "Under Construction page" and it passed almost a year since i bought my new domain. In conclusion... total failure all the way.
I also work on a PC
I also work on a PC
I am a Web Designer and I don't have website.Just for five years :( Failed
I am a Web Designer and I don't have website.Just for five years :( Failed
I am a failure... period. Web design... failed. Art career... failed. Writing career... failed. Relationship... failed. Family... failed. Faith in humanity... failed. Will to live... failed. I want to die... but I have even failed at suicide.
I am a failure... period. Web design... failed. Art career... failed. Writing career... failed. Relationship... failed. Family... failed. Faith in humanity... failed. Will to live... failed. I want to die... but I have even failed at suicide.
I went to a Star Wars Convention dressed as Captain Kirk. The worst part is, someone had to tell my how stupid that was ... I'm a complete embarrassment to the dork community and all of my peers.
I went to a Star Wars Convention dressed as Captain Kirk. The worst part is, someone had to tell my how stupid that was ... I'm a complete embarrassment to the dork community and all of my peers.
I'm a stupid loser and an utter failure because of my raging addiction to gossiping on Twitter about other designers. I can't WAIT to post about ALL of YOU! Oh, and I daydream about flying all the way to the UK just to have coffee (excuse me, tea) with some of you (including you, Graham) just to hear your British accents and see those old men on stilts lighting lamps on dark, misty nights. I like rain. I also harshly critique the design skills of small children with crayons.
I'm a stupid loser and an utter failure because of my raging addiction to gossiping on Twitter about other designers. I can't WAIT to post about ALL of YOU! Oh, and I daydream about flying all the way to the UK just to have coffee (excuse me, tea) with some of you (including you, Graham) just to hear your British accents and see those old men on stilts lighting lamps on dark, misty nights. I like rain. I also harshly critique the design skills of small children with crayons.
I forget to take the clean laundry out of the washer before putting in the next load of dirty laundry. Doesn't have much to do with design, but I thought I'd post this anyway ;)
I forget to take the clean laundry out of the washer before putting in the next load of dirty laundry. Doesn't have much to do with design, but I thought I'd post this anyway ;)
A client asked me to do a website for his relatively new pudding business after telling me how hard and long hours he has to work. I felt sorry for him and quoted a rather to fare price for him. He bargained the price down even more and I agreed (fail). Then he had a few extra requests (fail) and gave me free puddings and 2 bottles of wine to make up for it. I binged on both and felt sorry for myself. The pinnacle of the iceberg was, when the job was done he asked me if I want to go out for drinks. The non-stupid un-fail part of this story is - I said no.
A client asked me to do a website for his relatively new pudding business after telling me how hard and long hours he has to work. I felt sorry for him and quoted a rather to fare price for him. He bargained the price down even more and I agreed (fail). Then he had a few extra requests (fail) and gave me free puddings and 2 bottles of wine to make up for it. I binged on both and felt sorry for myself. The pinnacle of the iceberg was, when the job was done he asked me if I want to go out for drinks. The non-stupid un-fail part of this story is - I said no.
i 4got to renew my host invoice so the day after all my sites were offline....my phone couldnt stop ringin from my clients...it took me 2 days to convince my host suport that was a mistake,,,then i could renew it...lol
i 4got to renew my host invoice so the day after all my sites were offline....my phone couldnt stop ringin from my clients...it took me 2 days to convince my host suport that was a mistake,,,then i could renew it...lol
Not for 25 years, anyway...
I tweet on average 7 times a day and i get cold sweats if i can't check my email... F A I L . . .
I tweet on average 7 times a day and i get cold sweats if i can't check my email... F A I L . . .
I failed trying to launch a Twitter urban adventure race business, twitterdash.com. Handed out 200 fliers. I failed...but hope to pick it up again with some help. Failure I am with ideas
ROB> That's just shameful. Masking tape, AS WE ALL KNOW, just doesnt stick. You are a looser and failure.
I allowed myself to run out of duct tape, and actually considered that masking tape could be an alternative.
Ron> I dont mean to offend you, well, actually I do. You are more than an idiot. You are a failure. That's why you came here. Admit it... And that goes to all of you, you are (we) all FAILURES.
I've designed a number of mission critical disaster recovery plans. Offsite automated backups, hardware redundacy in multiple locations, the works. Pretty much get hit with a disaster, and be up and running in 6 hours or less for multi million dollar businesses, with the biggest issue being people relocation. So, some years later, I got hit with a 100 yr flood, and my system worked great at my own office :) but I was too busy to rebuild it. Then a few months later, got hit with a 50 year flood, and it about wiped me out. Dumb dumb dumb..... I was an idiot, that wont happen again.
Not for 25 years, anyway...
Ouch... I'm afraid I can't compare to most of these stories. I did have to throw out a Web design I spent 3 days on and start over from scratch, but that's about it. Luckily, they liked the 2nd one.
During design process for a logo comprised of too many characters; I was looking for a font. While scrolling thru over a 1000 font families, it occurred to me that in my entire design career, I've never organized/categorized my collection. What a font management failure I am! Please help me.
Miguel I and are failures.....
Rick Astley isn't black? Oh crap... There you go... I am a failure for that also...
I also thought Rick Astley was black the first moment I heard him on the radio many many moons ago..... How wrong I was... I am a failure....
I used to work for someone else, went home and worried about what needed to be done tomorrow as my mind never stopped. Now I work for myself, things are the same and I still think about design all the time. Am I a Failure... No... because its now about my life.....
I used to work on a PC. I actually had an antivirus...! That's a FAIL
While seeking employment at the corner print/copy shop; I couldn't remember the dimensions of a standard US business card! Needless to say... I am a Failure.
@styletime: my sympathies.
I still work on a PC ;(
I had to teach design on PCs! Oh the shame....
i used to work on a pc. i'm worst than the fail-whale.
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© 2006-2012 Graham Smith—imjustcreative: the original Logo Smith.