So bloody what if I go past ‘ten’ on the dial…

Had a startling thought today. This may seem like the old cliché "i’m ok, it’s everyone else that is’nt". Well, that’s where I’m at. I have deduced that Bipolar symptoms, two of which are a ‘jovial’ mood and a ‘melancholy’ mood are in fact ‘normal’ moods and emotions for me. I just have a little more of them. That’s what makes me me.

So bloody what if I go past ten on the dial, that’s for me to live with.

And even more so bloody what if I slip under zero on the dial. I don’t conform, never have, don’t want to and hope never to. I am me. And I know damn well that I am more ‘me’ without fucked up Zyprexa Olanzapine or Efexor Venlafaxine than I ever will be on them. Im going to bail out now whilst I still have some genuine Graham solid matter left in my skull… If it’s not too already late.

I don’t desire medications that are likely to kill my brain and/or suck the very essence from me to stop me from feeling ‘overly jovial’ or ‘lowly melancholy’. I’m artistic and that’s what I do, I articulate how Im feeling. If Im fucked off you had better believe I am fucked off, I don’t care for making a insincere gesture just because ‘it’s the right thing to do’. Right by who exactly?

So, hey. Shoot me if you think I’m in denial. I don’t care.

Thanks.